God, I don’t know how to do that!
How do I transition into being a mom of grown kids? I don’t know how to do that. I get a stomachache thinking about it. I mean to say, I don’t want grown kids who live in the basement. Yikes! But how do I go from being their everything to being there once a week or so. God, it hurts to imagine it, yet I think it will probably all happen naturally and with much less pain than I imagine.
My daughter graduates from high school in just a few very short weeks. I’ve been dreading and anticipating the day for such a long time. It’s like running a long marathon and then its over. Finished. Now what? It’s not up to me anymore. It’s up to her. We are close and I know we will remain so. One thing I’ve battled lately is thoughts of what I didn’t do right. They sneak up on me…I should have done this, I should have remained firm on that, etc. The funny thing is that I have very few regrets. I did what I knew was right and owned up to any mistakes.
My son is a sophomore. The house will be strangely silent without his sister around next fall. He’s looked forward to that time for many years. I’m still in the midst of trying to figure out how to parent an older teen boy. I still haven’t found the book to tell me the steps to letting him go.
This post will remain unfinished because the story is unfinished…
I’ll tell you, my virtual/blogging bigsis, the same thing I told my real bigsis: You’ve done a good job. You mustn’t dwell on the “what-if’s”, even though that’s what your sinful flesh wants to do. You’ve trusted in God to raise good, God-fearing kids. You’re not perfect & neither are they, but if you both trust in God, you can at least not obsessively worry about what will happen. Without even having met them, (or you in person, for that matter) I know they’re good kids & they’ll make good choices for the most part. And when they make their mistakes, they’ll learn from them. That ain’t bad. You done good.
You’ll always need to be the parent, but now you’ll get to start being a bit more of a friend as well. Always more of the former than the latter, but you know what I mean.
Thanks for the good reminders. Fear and worry. Worry and fear. My companions to the end. They like to trick me, run circles around me and make me stand still. The only cure I’ve found is to counter their attacks with God’s Word.
My kids are great kids and they’ve been trained well. And they are also sinners, like me. I actually do trust them very well. I’m just pretty bad with changes…or I should say I’m bad with anticipating changes.
My daughter is finishing her first year at college. The first few weeks were extremely hard for me….we used to talk every day after school last year and in the car and that was gone. It is hard letting go and letting them find there own way, but it is wonderful watching them grow into adults. And this past week she called me just about every day to talk….I was so tickled! Mainly we just email here and there (I am trying not to hover) and to have HER call ME just meant so much. It also helps that her college is only 45 minutes from home….
Love your blog!
I had a few year’s postponement of this because my daughter went to a local college and lives at home. But it’s still been different. She works and goes to class and isn’t around a lot. She has spent quite a bit of time traveling. But she’s still here. Now, as she looks at grad schools, and my oldest son looks at colleges, I know that things are going to be a LOT quieter around here after next year
I still need my mommy. No, really I do. Sure, it isn’t the same as when I lived at home as her minor child. I just need a different type of parenting now. You haven’t taught your children “everything” they will ever need from you. Right now, they probably don’t need advice on forming bonds with in-laws. But they will later. You have had a lot of experiences in your life that your children haven’t had; and someday, they will ask you about them.
And some times, your kids will made hard decisions, not really decisions where there is a “right or wrong” “good or bad” thing, but adult decisions where they’ll just need you around for support. An example, I needed my parents daily during the deployment. And now, that I’m about to become a parent, and Josh’s two week Officer Candidate School is during weeks 38 and 39, my mom may be in the delivery room with me instead of Josh. It is a transition, but your kids will still need you, just in a different way.
Thanks, Liz! You are entering wonderful years!!! God’s blessings to you as your child leaves your womb and is placed into your arms. I am so thankful that you and Josh will be raising you child(ren) in a solid Christian home and they s/he will receive God’s word daily and weekly!!! That is the best! I bet his/her baptism into Christ will be a very tender moment for you. I have a post that I will run when you announce that, not about your child but about baptism.
Lynn and Jane, I’m glad to be reminded that I’m not the first and only mom whose kids are growing up!