Katiie’s Beer

I know, I know, I promised no more Constantine, but this is hilarious. I just “have to” post this one last tribute to him in honor of next week’s American Idol tribute to Queen night. Enjoy this haiku that I found on a site called Ape Culture: A Haiku Requiem for Constantine. I did not write it, but it is very funny.

Rock god separates from band and strives to convert the lost pop masses.He catches my eye– long hair, rock star swagger. Wish we’d met back in Queens.
Imperfect teeth and pitch, but smile, charisma, ripped jeans more than suffice.
Hollywood drama Bo makes the cut, so does Con. Top thirty rocks hard.Bo uses talent, Constantine shows sex appeal. Both make the top twelve.
Under-impressive vocally in early weeks. Chicks vote, keep him safe.Constantine, I think I love you, even when you sing that Partridge crap
Owning the stage, he makes love to the camera “Smoldering Idol”
He dares to wear the white jacket for disco week, fills Travolta’s shoesNo Wayne’s World laughs greet Constantine’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”. Awesome!
Sub-par performance but certainly not the worst. Fan base deserts Con.Paula cries, hugs his Mom. Audience gasps. On stage, Constantine’s gracious.While conspiracy theories echo, I guess old fans like me don’t vote.Constantine sent home!?! This is how you remind me America’s dumb.
I feel sick until I spy Con’s old band’s album climbing up the chartsConstantine, please don’t despair. Quick! Try out to be INXS singer!

The above haiku was (again, not by me!) one a year ago. Since then, Constantine has done nothing to prove that he was any kind of true talent beyond the glimpse he gave us last year. I have heard rumors of an ABC sitcom based on his life. It will be interesting to see what happens to Constantine in the future.

The end.

Tags: American Idol 5, American Idol 4 //